I am 90 and I have Cystic Fibrosis

My daughter has cystic fibrosis. It is a serious disease which affects lung function, among other things and the current median survival rate is about 36 years old. My daughter is 5. Every year we raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation by having a fishing tournament. It was publicized in the paper with my name and phone number if you want to participate or donate or whatever.

I received a call a couple of days ago. Apparently someone old read the article. I will paraphrase the conversation below:

Me: Hello
Old Lady: HANG ON! MY HUSBAND WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!
Me: OK
Old Man: Are you the one who's daughter have CF?
Me: Yes.
Old Man: What? I can't here you!
Me (louder): Yes, my daughter has CF.
Old Man: I can't hear you!

This goes on for two or three back and forths until I end up talking as loud as i can without screaming.

Old Man: What doctor does she go to?
Me: Children's Mercy in Kansas City.
Old Man: She doesn't go to Columbia?
Me: No, we live in Kansas City.
Old Man: I knew someone from Springfield who had CF that went to Columbia.
Me: We live in Kansas City.
Old Man: I have CF too!
Me: You do?
Old Man: Yes. I caught it years ago. I go to the VA hospital and they told me there is nothing they can do for it. There are 7 strains of CF and 4 of them are untreatable. I have one of the untreatable ones and there isn't any medicine for it.
Me: ...

Ok, at this point I know that if I say anything to the contrary of the "facts" he is saying, I will be in for a long phone call. You can't do that with old people because they will make you old listening to them go on and on. So I just agreed to a few more absolutely absurd things he said when he finally topped it off with this....

Old Man: I'm 90!!!
Me: Well it looks like you have learned how to beat it!
Old Man: I guess so. Thank you for the information about her doctor.

I knew he was old and I even held out some hope that he actually did have CF until he said this. Don't ever talk to old people that you don't know.

Handwritten Spreadsheets - Spawn of a Top Ten List

I work with my Dad. He's not so bad with computers, he can do email, scan pdf's, web search and the basic stuff. Today, he came to me and asked if we had any big sheets of paper. I told him we have 11 x 17 and that delighted him. I wasn't sure what he was doing. Turns out, he was handwriting a huge spreadsheet. He needed the wide paper because there are too many columns for a normal sheet. He has now asked my sister, who also works in the company to type it out into Excel. Something in my insides hurts. To quote Dilbert, "I have uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things."

This leads me to a top ten list of tech things that seem to baffle my father's generation (and let's not kid ourselves, most computer users out there).

1. There are no browsers, only "The Internet". You don't use a program to access the internet, you just use the internet.
2. You cannot change your home page. Don't even try. You would have to purchase a new computer to do that.
3. Preference panes do not exist. Programs come as is. There is nothing you can change.
   
4. It is a new instance to question every time your antivirus software wants to update. Is it STILL ok to update Norton?
5. Outlook viewing pane toggle buttons exist solely to frighten the user into thinking they have lost every email except those that are unread
6. You can have only one program running at a time.
   
7. You can have every program installed running at the same time and it will not affect performance.
   
8. Everything that is forwarded to you by someone you know is true. Obama hates America and there really is a cell phone "do not call" list you can use to keep him from calling you about it.
9. Don't get me started on people that print, in full color, emails and pass them around.
10. Windows Media Center exists to display cat videos, Budweiser commercials and encrypt DRMed .wma's.